he stands alone, takes sips of beer
as the sun, the sun begins to fade
he watches it intently
sees the stones begin to crumble
and wonders if she really meant those words she said
'cause he fails to understand it
he struggles inside to read her
so he silently seeks answers in the waves

to her it all seems normal
water from a bottle
as she picks apart her bread
she watches him in wonder
not knowing what she needs
convinced he's not the one, at least not now
she doesn't know they'll hurt her
down the road, another life
maybe someday she'll realize
it's his face she sees in the waves

there's no such thing as answers
to the questions in his heart
it's never black and white
and he can't break it apart
so he walks alone, and looks down the road
and wonders
if she'd ever change her mind
but he sees her there, and he knows she won't
she won't
have a change of heart

simple waves crash in
and out with a certain grace
of complex nature

tell me, what am I supposed to feel
if thy heart has come and gone?
if the ink in this pen runs dry
and the light inside thee burns out.
what shall become of me, then
when the center in which thy glowing stems,
under flesh and bone,
burns so brightly, no more?
tell me, what then will I feel?
what more will leak out of me?
what else more can be caught,
so delicately, in the palms of open pages?

Haiku

cantankerous men
bicker loudly over lunch
pay, stand up, and leave


two kindred spirits
have lost each other before
but still keep looking

Something tells me it is better
an inkling starting to make sense
appearing just somewhat brighter
green on both sides of the fence
and although the sky turns gray
and clouds do none but block my view
I glimpse now the blue beyond them
a heart sick day is turned anew
Days were once obscure and bleak
a mere shadow of another's life
I followed blind to seek my own
found it end in none but strife
But mine has sung a novel tune
found solace in a new design
I've awakened in an improved soul
and the bliss I feel is mine

let sunshine in
dry up the rain
that washed away
my smile

part the clouds
shed light upon
the darkness in
my soul

warm my skin
engulf the cold
that froze up
my love

bring on life
who once died
and grows again
in me

everything has changed
nothing is the same
pictures falling down
no one else to blame
hiding up inside
this dream i never had
it's hard to be so happy
when all i am is sad
i'm forgetting all their numbers
they haven't come to see
the person for, i'm looking
the one that's really me
one day your eyes will open
someday they'll all agree
this person that i am
is the one they couldn't see

I feel if this was real
it would heal
there'd be nothing to conceal
it wouldn't all be so surreal
Everything that I thought
wouldn't feel so in a knot
I wouldn't feel so damn distraught
if this was real

spinning
shoulders heavy with your words
weighted weakness in the words
they're easier not to read
when i'm spinning

sinking
memory framed inside my picture
picture perfect in my picture
easier not to look at
when i'm sinking

the words aren't saying what I want to say
this isn't how I thought it'd be at all
and tears rock me to sleep at night
and my dreams wake me up
to days that are the day before
it's hard to say what is right and wrong
and to put that in a thought
of how life is supposed to be
i want to be able to write confusion away
and feel a sense of relief
when the words spill out
but there's a dam against me
in more ways than one
and if that day comes
if life is easier than it was
will you still be there?

relief
a revealing
satisfaction
smiling, and tears
happy returns
and fear flees
to hide, again
amongst regret, and woe
I, let it go
the weight
upon my shoulders
like Atlas
giving up

"I have lost my smile,
but don't worry.
The dandelion has it." - Anonymous

To lose a thing is a battle in itself
But to know it's not gone forever
Is to really know yourself

The peace in which you seek at heart
Will fill you up with peace and joy
If you only do your part

Sit down and smile, breath deep in
You will find what you are seeking
Look around, you'll find it then
And you'll know of what I'm speaking

what to do with love?

what do you do when someone says they love you
and you love them back, but can't
when everything tells you do it
but something strong is holding back

what do you do when your world is spinning faster
than you ever thought it could
when all you need is time
to know there's nothing you can do

what do you do when you want something
something you can't have
something you had once
but thought you'd never have again

what do you do when you are haunted
by a past that makes its visits
in times you hold most precious
and are never really willing to give up

what do you do when you can't breathe
and you want badly to give in
but giving in to the temptation
could never give you what you need

out of sight and out of mind
is always where she seems to be
in the backs of thoughts
and on the tips of tongues
but never spoken loudly

she's always there, never seen
a shadow in a crowded room
she speaks in mute
hears silent noise
lamentation comes too soon

she's made mistakes, not perfect
and cried to sleep at night
she's felt loved, alone
proud, ashamed
she might not or she might

Casi lloré
Pensaba que las lágrimas pasarían
Lloré un poquito

Kindly put your cell phone lighters in the air and dance for me
Music will take the wheel and set me free
The stage is set and my life’s revealed

Bring me all your sorrows and I’ll put them in my song
You’ll be feeling better ‘fore too long
Pull the curtains back and have a seat

If you cry I’ll know I touched you, if you don’t at least I tried
My song is merely tears you’ve cried
Maybe it’s your smile or your maybe it's your light.

Sinner

Yesterday I lied
And told a man I couldn’t help him
When I could

Yesterday I sent the mission money
So that people could eat
People who can’t buy food

Yesterday I asked a patient how he felt
But he didn’t answer me
Because he couldn’t talk

Yesterday I learned
How to take a person to the very bottom
And then bring them back up

Yesterday I heard a song
And I cried a little listening
By myself in my car

Yesterday I hugged a friend
Who I haven’t seen
To let her know that I miss her

Yesterday I heard a rumor
And I told someone else
I perpetuated what I didn’t know for sure

Yesterday I sinned
But no more than any other day
But I’m sorry

Days are now like a blink in my eye
Weeks are like the tears that I cry
Days move fast, but hours move slow
Dragging along I long to know
How long it will take to get through this pain
I need strength just to say your name
Lonely longing without you here
The setting sun is my biggest fear
I'm bound by these walls that are holidng me in
Time stops and starts, I don't know where to begin
The distance between us grows everyday
Not just the roads, but the words that we say
I think of you often
When the aching stops time
I'd give the sun to the moon if she'd make you mine.

I wake up each morning
And I wonder if it's real
Cuz the things inside my dreams
Are realer than they appear
I'm stuck inside a reality
That's really a superficiality
Of my mind
And what's inside
When I sleep
Things go creep
One of these days
I'm never gonna know
If what I did inside my dream
Was what was really so
I can't dream to dream my life away
All I gotta do is keep my thoughts at bay
Close my eyes
Just once more
My mind flies
Let it soar....