She awoke from a dream about skeletons. As she came to, she toyed with the idea of taking a bath, imagining candles and music and a glass of wine, lying naked in bubble-less water. But she couldn't find a plug for the tub, or bubbles. And so she stood, melting under the hot water of the shower. As much as she fought it, days like these seemed to be waterproof. Water could wash away work and treadmills and tears, but not this. Whatever this was. A cup of tea and some incense would have to suffice, she thought. Her glasses steamed up with every sip as she stared at her phone on the nightstand. There was a reason she didn't turn it off at night, or ever. He loved her, she knew that. He had told her to her face and with his eyes open at her eyes and she believed him. So, she never allowed herself to miss an opportunity to hear those words over again. As such, she left it as it was. And she hoped this connection to another day and time, this endurance of distance and that which does not wash away might someday again soon awake her from dreams about skeletons.

empty is a feeling
i'm getting used to
i sit and stare at empty couches
slide inside my empty bed
and reach for empty cups
and I know how they feel.

sometimes, I can't even fall asleep
and I pretend it's all okay
like climbing up a mountain where the walls are steep
my heart weighs more than I can say

sometimes, I just lay in my bed
and try to feel the way you feel
I lie around till I remember what you said
your empty side feels so surreal

I'm not used to this
I just want, want one kiss
will I see you again baby?
please give me more than maybe

sometimes, looking at your picture makes me cry
I miss everything we're missing
so I look for your face up in the sky
to keep me sane I'm reminiscing

sometimes, your voice says things to mine
pinch myself if it's a dream
I find me, then you and draw the line
I'll make you closer than you seem

I'm not used to this
I just want, want one kiss
will I see you again baby?
please give me more than maybe

sometimes, I can't even fall asleep
and I pretend it's all ok

i keep looking at your picture
at your smiling face, and how happy you look
how happy we look, together

my mind takes me places i shouldn't go
taunts me with free trips
that cost me millions in emotions
but i go anyway in hopes
i'll see that smiling face

or better yet, feel your hands
touch your face
breathe your breath
absorb your skin
and drown in your eyes

and i look up at the stars
no, no, no, no
looking for your eyes in them
remembering its daytime where you are
and hoping, like i do
that you'll see my eyes
when the stars come out there
and remember what i feel like

these crisp summer nights flood me
with thoughts and dreams but
anxious memories
a mix of complete peace
and tormenting reminiscence

bring back what's in my picture
that i look at everyday
just let me touch you, hold you
just for a moment
feed my lust and addiction briefly
won't you? can't you?

what is it about these nights
that make my loneliness so vivid
so undisguisable, so apparent
that the only way to quell it
is to release the tears
that i've held on to so tightly

maybe this feeling
this overwhelmingly sinking feeling
is the product of two minds
coming together in one moment
one time lapsed, synchronous moment
thinking of you
thinking of me

show me the soul of your mystery
uncloak the honest truth
reveal that which i cannot see
but can feel and taste in youth
you know me somehow, somewhere
plain but rarely shown
we avoid because we cannot touch
or grasp or have to own
awake with faith and happenstance
search with newer eyes
i'll find you in the in between
amidst the fiction and the guise

the smell of the rain on the pavement
is abrasive and affectionate
and accompanies memories
from deep within
that make me want to close my eyes
tight enough to will tears
and hold my breath
stand too long in stillness
so not a drop of it will escape
it is a kind of attack
that leaves me breathless
and speechless
and strengthless
and i feel everything
absorb everything
until it is so much a part of me
that if you cut me i would bleed the rain

keep on dancing through my head
i like it when you're here
run in circles 'round my dreams
don't wander far from near
draw me as circles in your soul
because you make mine true
fall asleep with smiles on my lips
kissed awake with smiles too